Everyone seem to have a checklist in their head which they sort& tick as they go.
Something close to what i will call pay as you go.
We spend our whole life looking for the perfect job after college or in between after which we go after or rather chase after skirts or trousers depending on the gender.
And when we finally get "The One". What next?
For some it will be building their career whilst for others it's the quest for a jnr "Them".
Now that you are married. What do you think should be the next thing on your agenda?
Is your partner just a wall paper that you dont need to acknowledge or talk to?
Do you find it easy to pour out your heart to others instead of your spouse or partner?
Why is that so?
Do you buy into the hype of seeing counselors?(nothing bad in that)
Do you know that those books you're reading on relationship and how to be better were written by everyday people like you ....yes?
I dare you to talk more to your partner and even take it a step further by writing about your relationship.
Dont tell me that you're too shy to do that.
Okay start with a journal.
Did i just hear someone say life's too busy for all the smooches now...hmm, but it wasnt when you went all out to conquer, was it?
You just have to make out time and treat each other with respect. Create your own "Me Times". Talk more to your partner more than ever, dont wait till they tell you something before you talk.
I dont mind being a confidant to most of my male friends as they are many, as a matter of fact i took my sweet time to count and realized i have more male friends than female this days.....hmmm. But i will prefer they talk more to their partners about certain things than me.(or maybe the invisible factor is at play)
We seem to have mostly this days gotten to the stage were it's cool to confide in someone else other than our spouse or partner.
The main person that is meant to be the center of our universe is relegated to the background.
We leave him or her wandering and wondering most of the time. This has got to change.
I did rock the boat with a friend of recent. I told him after our usual convo to please share what he's just told me with his partner.
He thought i was off my rockers. I threatened not to listen to him again till he does as i advised (oh how i stood my ground).
Need i say that he obliged me and am so proud of the outcome and how things rolled on smoothly.
Take a look at this couple in the video below....they dont have two heads.
They have each other and are warm blooded enough to speak about their journey.
Take a closer look at them.
Take a closer look at your partner and tell me if you dont deserve him or her.
They deserve to know what's on your mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VwSyFR2Q1U
If the desire for your partner is only physical then you're in serious trouble as that which attracted you to him or her can fade away anytime.
You need a deeper attraction than what you currently have.
Stop trying to distract yourself with strangers or put a wedge between yourself and your partner.
I dare you to do something. Yes something unexpected. Something different but not too alarming(not scandalous or scary)
NB: This is adapted for this blog from my original post dd July 2012.
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